Or a young woman experiencing intense resentment towards a mother who abused her in childhood and whom she is not ready to forgive. It’s important to understand that not everything can be forgiven, not everyone can forgive, but reaching a point where this topic no longer causes you pain is necessary.

Attachment and Types:
Let’s assume there are four main attachment types influencing the formation of our future relationships:

Secure type:
People with warm and reliable relationships in childhood build healthy and stable relationships in adulthood. The ability to trust, feel protected, and be open are their strengths.

Anxious type:
Such individuals, often adults, constantly need confirmation and fear rejection. Parental love was unpredictable, and they frequently felt it sporadically.

Avoidant type:
People with an avoidant attachment type prefer avoiding intimate relationships, opting for independence. It’s likely they lacked emotional support in their childhood.

Disorganized attachment type:
This type is most common in people who experienced traumatic events in childhood. They fear intimacy and always feel afraid of being abandoned.

The Foundation of Attachment and Its Influence on Self-Esteem:
Attachment, as the foundation, is formed in childhood, and our self-esteem is a direct result of how our parents perceive us. Like an empty vessel, a child starts forming their self-perception through the eyes of their parents.

Our mental connection with our parents literally affects all areas of our life:

Professional development:
How we build our career and realize our professional potential.

Self-determination:
How easy it is for us to set and achieve our goals or whether we avoid life, lacking the desire to get out of bed in the morning.

Safety and self-perception:
On our self-perception in this world and how safe we feel in it.

Finances:
The impact on our relationship with money and how easily we can access them.

Tendency to codependency in relationships. You seek a parental figure in your partner, aiming to merge with them, to become “one whole.” Constant need for affirmation of love and attention from your partner. “Baseless jealousy.”

You are prone to abuse: allowing yourself emotional or even physical violence and then, when you come to your senses, reproaching yourself for it—after all, you intended to be NOT like your parents, but it doesn’t work out.

You constantly need approval not only from your spouse but also from your boss, other colleagues. The slightest criticism leaves you disoriented, discouraged, and even fearful that you’ll be fired, even though there are no objective reasons for it.

You find it difficult to defend your boundaries in relationships with people; you are prone to violating others’ boundaries. In general, you have difficulty sensing them.

You have trouble understanding your feelings and expressing them.

And most importantly, the transmission of generational experience.
The parenting process, in turn, becomes a key link in the transmission of generational experience. How we raise our children shapes their future self-esteem, attachment, and ability to build healthy relationships.

In recognizing and overcoming difficulties, we open new horizons for personal growth and harmony. Awareness of the influence of the past allows us to actively shape our future, creating favorable conditions for a more balanced and happy life. Remember that each of us is the author of our own story, and we have the power to change it for the benefit of ourselves and future generations. Develop your story with love and wisdom!